The Week contest — Facebook depression

Last week's question: Scientists say that spending too much time on Facebook is making people depressed, possibly because their friends’ idealized version of their lives are making their own lives seem drab by comparison. Since Facebook isn’t going away, what can people do to solve this problem?

RESULTS:

THE WINNER: Befriend a bunch of angsty teenagers who do nothing but complain

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Zachary Anthony, St. Louis

SECOND PLACE: Read Dostoyevsky

Drew Filus, Studio City, Calif.

THIRD PLACE: Get Al Gore to invent something better

Lela Nelson, Stockton, Calif.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Invent a lovable alter ego, such as Miley Filner Weiner

Frank Letchworth, Knoxville

Come up with better lies

David Eichner, Kapaau, Hawaii

Move to a country where Internet access is heavily regulated

Ken Kellam III, Dallas

Send a friend request to Debbie Downer

Joanne Sullivan, Maspeth, N.Y.

Unfriend Facebook

Kaia Adler, Franklin, N.C.

Read any daily newspaper, where good news is anathema

Jim Brown, National City, Calif.

Hire a fiction writer to spice up their posts

Bill D. Miller, Barton, Vt.

Post pretend photos of epic vacations downloaded off the Internet

Bradley Fowler, Chambersburg, Pa.

Switch to Myspace

Bryan F. Smith, Denton, Texas

Turn on C-SPAN: Watching Congress will make anyone feel better about themselves

Richard Grossman, Wilmington, Del.

Tweet @DrPhil for coping strategies

Matt Schirripa, Meadville, Pa.

Only open the Facebook pages of people you don’t like

Kenneth R. Updegrove, Cedaredge, Colo.

Demand a Dislike button

Barry Cutler, Palm Desert, Calif.

Restrict Facebook use to viewing captioned cat photos

Patricia Leslie, Richmond, Calif.

Split your time between Facebook, the obituaries, and homeless dog commercials

Eric Johnson, Diamond Springs, Calif.

Get a North Korean pen pal

Joel Greenspan, Atlanta

Cut the funding to the scientists who discovered this

Julie Gensterblum, Howell, Mich.